this is going to the past post on my blog. having this thing was like a safe-house for me while i was pregnant. i could always turn to it to write down my feelings, post my memories, and share pictures i found inspiring.

lately, the only reason i have even kept thing this was for one simple reason: i hoped zac read it. even though we’re broken up, i kept it up in the hopes that seeing me, olivia, and hudson would make him miss me even just a little. even just a little….

well it isn’t worth it anymore. i hate the attention that its given me. i hate that i was so open i left myself heart exposed for anyone to attack. and i hate that not only do people criticize me, they have decided to say hurtful things about my children.

not cool.

i’ve come to realize that there isn’t such a thing as true friends. & there isn’t such a thing as genuine people. i’m not one of those two things either. for all of you who think you know me because of this blog, you don’t. for all of you who look up to me because of this blog, please stop. and for all of you who just stumbled upon this post and think i’m crazy, right on. keep on tumblr’ing yall. i won’t miss a single one of you.

yeah, you and too many other people…

i’m going to lay this down as nicely as possible, you probably don’t really know anything about me; other than that i’m a mother to two babies. i could be as fake as i wanted to on here and nobody would even know. i don’t talk about 97% of my life. you may feel like you ‘know’ me, but i promise i still am just an interesting stranger you found online.

this has been us all day long.

this is heartbreaking. /:

“But there’s a side to you that i never knew, all the things you’d say they were never true.” Adele (Set Fire to the Rain)

bah, i miss you sometimes. /: 

he has the sweetest sleepy little smile. <3

come on hudson, can you please grow just a little bit so you can fit into your newborn clothes. they are much warmer than all the preemie stuff i could find.

i just want you to be warm and comfy little man!

my big walker.

my cute little kiddos.

forgive the crappy cellphone quality. i love them.

11: already answered this.

13: the only person i think who actually understands me, is me. i am wickedly confusing and my mind can sometimes become super twisted. nobody really gets me, because half of the time i don’t even understand what i’m thinking.

16: it’s quite sad but more often then not i consider my sister a stranger. i’ve talked to her only a handful of times in the past year and she has yet to meet either of my children. it makes me very upset..